How To Have Unshakable Confidence/Self Esteem

unshakable self esteem

Self-esteem is one of the biggest factors that decide success in every area of your life. How much will you earn, how better would you perform in an exam, how good relationships you can maintain with other people, all these things depends on your self-esteem.

Self-esteem means an overall sense of self-worth or personal value. In other words, how much you appreciate, trust yourself and like yourself. Having high self-esteem will help you excel in every area of your life. It means, currently you might not be so good in a particular skill, but having high self-esteem means having faith/belief in yourself that you will learn it and become an expert soon.

Increase your self-esteem permanently

1. Self-awareness/Living consciously:

Be aware of all of your strengths, weakness, powers, and problems. Don’t live your life like a robot. Ask the following questions from yourself.

  • Why are you doing things that you do?
  • What are your biggest goals/desires?
  • What are your biggest fears/insecurities?
  • What do you love about yourself the most?
  • Which habits/behavior do you hate about yourself most?
  • What makes you happy?
  • What makes you angry?
  • What makes you sad/anxious?
  • What makes you proud?
  • What are your biggest values?

Being aware of yourself and your values thoroughly will help you make better decisions in life

Also, try to live in the present being aware of everything around you rather than remembering your past or worrying about your future.

2. Self-acceptance/ Self love:

Accept your strengths, weaknesses, desires, problems, powers without judgment. Change can happen only after acceptance. If you live your life in denial that you don’t have any weaknesses/ problems, you can’t overcome it.

Note: Self-acceptance shouldn’t be confused with complacency. The only way to become better is to accept yourself as you are now, otherwise, you’ll waste all of your time feeling guilty over your past mistakes.

3. Self-responsibility:

Be responsible for every area of your life. If you play victim and blame world for your current condition, you will never find inner energy/power to transform your life.

You might not have 100% control over life, but you definitely have 100% control over how you react to various events in life. Taking responsibility gives you the power to transform your thought process which in turn will change external reality for you.

Note: Being optimistic and solution-oriented rather than problem finder can be a game-changer for your thought process and life.

4. Be authentic:

To practice self-assertiveness is to live authentically, to speak and act from your innermost convictions and feelings.

Lies make you weak and full of fears. If you don’t know something, say it. If you aren’t good at something, tell it. There is no one in the world who is good at everything. You don’t need to be perfect to live life confidently, you just need to be authentic.

5. Living purposefully:

It means to use our powers for the attainment of goals we have selected. It’s our goals that push us forward and makes us feel fulfilled. Bigger the goal, greater the energy will be generated inside us to achieve that goal.

Note: Thinking big and having a purpose bigger than yourself will boost your self-esteem manyfold. Example: Entrepreneurs have higher self-esteem than people who do a regular job. Great leaders have high self-esteem as their purpose is much bigger than themselves: To uplift every single person in the world. You don’t necessarily need to have such bigger goals but you should definitely start thinking big and take bigger roles. Never be afraid of taking bigger roles in your organisation/social groups. Bigger roles will help you achieve respect from society as well as higher self-esteem in your own eyes. Similarly, You can take bigger roles in your social circles. Mentor someone, Be someone’s hero and this thing alone will give you unlimited confidence.

6. Personal integrity:

It means to live your life with values. It doesn’t mean necessarily to comply with rules or standards set by society but to live with your personal values. Don’t be a hypocrite. Don’t do things that you don’t like about others. Also, live your life with integrity. Give power to your words. Keep your promises even if it’s difficult to do.

7. Stay modest:

‘If you think you know everything, you can’t learn anything’.
Don’t let your successes make you an egoistic person. Stay modest and down to earth always. It will make you a confident peaceful person.
“Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame.”

Quick TIPS:

If you want to boost your self-esteem quickly, here are some tips/strategies to overcome low self esteem :

  1. Dress well: How you present yourself to society has an impact on your self-esteem. So, be well-groomed and dress well.
  2. Gym/ Physical exercise: Having an ideal body will help you increase your self-esteem. Also, the release of endorphins/dopamine during exercise will help you to become a more positive/optimistic person.
  3. Learn new things: Learning new skills will give you a sense of accomplishment and also make you an interesting and confident person. Move out of your comfort zone and try out new things. Divide the skill into as many parts or components as possible and master each one separately. Please read https://betheflow.in/learning-how-to-learn-faster for detailed steps to learn new skills quickly.
    Don’t be afraid of failures/rejections. It’s your failures that teach you the most and bring the best person out of you.
  4. Uplift others: Help others grow and live to the full potential. “When one teaches, two learn.” Helping others will make you feel fulfilled, happier and wiser. It will also help you make better relationships with people which will be really beneficial for you in the long term.
  5. Change your self-image: It’s a permanent and most effective solution. Change your subconscious using Affirmations/Visualizations. Become a person who thinks big, gives his personal best in each moment, who loves challenges, who is not afraid of failures, speaks his truth, is authentic, does no harm to others, speaks impeccable, spreads happiness and uplifts others.

Self-esteem is not built in a day. But if you continuously practice all these habits, you will definitely be unstoppable one day.


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1 year ago

Giving your 100%% in whatever you are doing also helps in building the self esteem. Always, under commit and over deliver.

1 year ago

Doing the right thing in every situation can make your self esteem to the next level.