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Seven Steps Which Can Help You To Keep Your Mind In Control

how_to_control_mind

Your mind can become your greatest friend if you control it, but if it controls you, it can be your biggest enemy.
The bad news is that it doesn’t come with a manual about controlling it. The good news is that you can learn from the experience of your own and others. You can apply those learnings and principles to completely master your mind. Here are seven steps which can help you to keep your mind in control

1. Become aware:

Step one is to become aware of our thoughts, emotions, states of your mind and triggers. Let’s first discuss different kinds of emotions, states, triggers of mind.
Emotions: In general, there are 10 emotions that we experience: Joy, Excitement, Surprise, Sadness, Anger, Disgust, Contempt, Fear, Shame, Guilt.
Triggers:  Have you noticed how certain topics and people evoke in you a variety of emotions? Some might make you angry or envious. Guilty or sad. Becoming aware of your triggers might help you control your emotional states.
States: There are 3 states of minds:

  • Panic mode state: When something bad is happening to us, we lose control of our mind. We feel agitated, irritated, frustrated and angry in this state.
    Solution: The first step here is to declutter your mind by writing your thoughts on a piece of paper and then divert your attention to other good things in your life. If you don’t like writing, you can talk to a friend and share your problem openly. Feel free to cry as it makes your blocked emotion flow. He might not be able to give you a solution but letting your thoughts out helps you feel relaxed. Once, we are in a calm state, then we can easily face our problems.
  • Overexcited state: When something great happens to us, we become overexcited. Ego, showoff, mocking others are few symptoms of this state which might result in guilt in future.
    Solution: It’s good to be excited but don’t be overexcited. Also, we should try to speak impeccable.
  • Normal state: When nothing good or bad is happening to us, our regular repetitive thoughts  take control of our mind.

2. Understand how mind works

We are not the mind but the awareness. Awareness is a torch which illuminates various areas of mind that are filled with memories.
For example, When we watch a movie, the movie makers shifts our awareness to different areas of mind intentionally generating various feelings like surprise, fear, disgust, and happiness. In the end, we feel great after experiencing different feelings in a planned way.
However, when we are in our normal state, our mind mostly remains distracted. It means our awareness keeps shifting to different areas of mind in an uncontrolled manner. Our awareness can be shifted by various sources including our past memory, future imaginations, unresolved emotions, and unfulfilled desires.
Solution: Using willpower and concentration, we can bring our awareness gently back to the areas that we wanted.

  • Concentration can be improved by meditation and giving full attention to each task whatever you are doing. For example: if you are talking to a person,  give him your undivided attention.
  • Willpower is a muscle that requires regular practice. It can be improved by maintaining integrity: Finishing what you started and giving value to your words.

3. Control your desires

Unfulfilled desires are the root cause of all suffering. If you are feeling unhappy, there are high chances that it’s because life is not happening the way you wanted it to be.
Solution:

  • Consciously choose your desires: Set the desires and goals that you want for yourself not what society expects from you. Set your own path.
  • Think big with highest possible values: Let go of small desires like envy, jealousy and competition and own your personal values.
  • Set goals but don’t get attached to it: Having goals is important in life but being attached to them is wrong. Letting those goals control you is wrong. The ultimate aim of life should be freedom. Freedom from everything that lets you down.  Once you are free, your potential and your happiness reach to a new potential.

4. Settle unresolved emotions

We need to settle our unresolved negative emotions in order to free our mind.
Solution:

  • Make peace with your past: We can get trapped in our own lies due to denial of our reality. If your mind is wandering often into the past, a possible problem can be that you haven’t accepted the past yet. The solution here is to accept it. Once, we make peace with our past, we get clarity about our present and the future.
  •  Forgive others:  Do forgive all the people who have done wrong to you. It can be difficult but holding grudges in mind makes you suffer more. Also, once you forgive them, you feel internal peace.
  • Handle guilt: Guilt is a very dangerous emotion. You need to forgive yourself for all the wrong things that you have done. We should learn from our mistakes and try not to repeat them but having guilt in our heart makes us sabotage ourselves.
  • Control your fears: We often suffer more in our imagination than in reality by being afraid of various things. The solution here is to accept the worst case. It may sound weird but accepting worst-case calms our mind. Once it settles, we can divide the problem into small steps and then start working to solve it.
  • Let go of shame: One of the biggest enemy of our personal power is shame. ‘What will people think’ has destroyed more dreams than any other thing in the world. ‘Laughing at your failures’ is one solution that’s been quite effective in my life. Long term solution is having unshakable self-esteem.

5. Have Amazing Relationships

80 years of Harward study proved that great relationships make you healthier and happier. So, Love your family, friends, and close people around you. Avoid superficial relationships. If your relationships suck, your mind will remain distracted with thoughts full of problems with other people.
Solution: Judge less , Accept more, love more.

6. Be an amazing person

The more selfish we are, more distracted our mind remains. More we become selfless , calmer our mind becomes.
Solution: Become an amazing person. Have high self-esteem. Try to be a person who creates happiness everywhere. Try to uplift people around you. Strive to be a living legend.

7. Do the right thing

All our regrets and guilt arise because we didn’t do the right thing.as per our personal values.
The purer the mind, the easier it is to control. As Vivekananda said, “The man who is perfectly moral has nothing more to do; he is free.”
We all know deep inside what’s the right thing. Have the guts to follow your heart and do the right thing in every situation.

Conclusion

The one who can control the mind can control the whole world. Don’t be too harsh on yourself. Don’t expect to master your mind in one day. Gently follow these strategies and you will be able to control it.
Please, Let us know in comment which strategy you liked the most. Thanks for reading.

Read Also: 20 Productivity Hacks Students Can Use To Be 400% More Productive

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How To Develop Mindset Like World Class Entrepreneurs and Legends

hero legend mindset

How to develop mindset like world class entrepreneurs and legend?

Why become a Hero:

1. To Live Life To The Fullest: Ultimate aim of life should be to go beyond the standards set by society and experience the full potential of our body, mind, and soul. Anything is possible in this world if we let our minds believe it and we keep working towards achieving it.
2. Unexpressed Potential Turns To Pain: We all are unconsciously aware of our potential. if we keep living a limited life, this potential in the long term will turn into pain resulting in unfulfilled and unsatisfied life.
3. Give Back To Society: While we might be busy in our first world problems, there are billions who don’t even have basic necessities. By living up to our full potential, we can contribute more to society and humanity.

What are the habits of Hero/legends:

The only difference between an unsuccessful person and a legend is a difference in mindset and daily habits. Here are some of the habits of heroes that we can replicate in our lives:

1. Runs His Own Race: A hero doesn’t compare his life with others. Peer pressure, society doesn’t affect him. He lives a simple yet proud life and sets his own goals about things he truly wants to achieve. He removes extra desires coming from expectations set by others.
It doesn’t matter what others are doing, the only question that matters to him is “Am I doing it right and am I progressing”? They stay persistent towards their purpose and keep moving forward towards their goals even after failures and setbacks.

2. Personal Mastery: They know themselves inside out. They are completely aware of their strengths, weaknesses, desires, purpose, values and belief systems. They keep working on their weakness and negative beliefs.

3. Bravery and Courage:  It’s an admirable quality of being able to confront frightening things. It takes bravery for a knight to battle a dragon, but it also takes bravery for a shy child to walk into a new classroom. Even Heroes have their own fears, still, they choose to confront it and move forward.

4. High Energy: They are people with high positive energy which makes them full of life. Wherever they go, they make others do better, be better. 
Here are some of secrets behind their high level of energy:
a. Fit body
b. Internal happiness
c. High self-esteem, Self-respect and self love
d. A big purpose

5. High Influence: Having influence means you can get people to believe in you or your ideas, buy from you, follow you, or take actions that you request of them. Here are some of the secrets behind their high influence:
a. Truth: Everyone loves and respects honest people.
b. Deep Listening: They listen to others and their problems very carefully.
c. Raw Vulnerability: They share their vulnerable side to the world. People can easily relate and connect with them.
d. Polite and Modest: Despite huge success, they stay polite, modest and respectful towards others.
e. Integrity: They know the value of their words and always fulfill their promises.

6. Don’t Play The Victim: They take full responsibility of their life, their actions, and the karma.
a. They don’t complain about external situations as they have full control over their brain about the reaction towards any incident.
b. They don’t act busy. They always have time for their goals/purposes.
c. They stay inclined towards learning more than the entertainment.

7. Powerful Habits: No one is born as a legend, It’s only habits and mindset which separates legends from the crowd. Here are some of their habits:
a. 20-20-20 Principle: Start the morning with spending 20 minutes for fitness, 20 minutes for meditation, 20 minutes for reading self-help books.
Exercise releases positive hormones which result in an increase in happiness and energy. Mediation helps in increasing focus, clarity, control over the mind, happiness, and energy. Reading helps in increasing the knowledge base and keeps us motivated.
b. Daily Gratitude: Practice deliberate gratitude: Things you are grateful about to increase levels of happiness and energy. You can use the app ‘bliss’ for this purpose.
c. Journaling: It brings clarity in the brain and removes negative thoughts.
d. Affirmations: They understand power of subconscious mind and use positive affirmations to change their mindset to the person they wish to be.
e. Learner for Life: The best investment we can make is on ourselves. They understand importance of learning and spend their time in workshops/books/seminars.

8. Givers: In the end only 2 things matter: Who did you become and how many lives did you impact, They understand this fact completely and try to help/ uplift/ spread happiness as much as possible. They stay mostly selfless and keep on serving others. This thing is also beneficial for them as giver mindset results in inner happiness, more energy, better relationships, and fulfillment.

9. Have fun: Life is too short to be sad. Having fun is essential if you want to be successful.
a. Find your passion: Love your work or change your work. “The question you should be asking isn’t, “What do I want?” or “What are my goals?” but “What would excite me?
b. Create a great relationship with your coworkers: We should be able to have fun at work and bring out the best in each other.


If you are really passionate about the mindset of legends, you should definitely read the following book:
5 AM club

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How To Have Unshakable Confidence/Self Esteem

unshakable self esteem

Self-esteem is one of the biggest factors that decide success in every area of your life. How much will you earn, how better would you perform in an exam, how good relationships you can maintain with other people, all these things depends on your self-esteem.

Self-esteem means an overall sense of self-worth or personal value. In other words, how much you appreciate, trust yourself and like yourself. Having high self-esteem will help you excel in every area of your life. It means, currently you might not be so good in a particular skill, but having high self-esteem means having faith/belief in yourself that you will learn it and become an expert soon.

Increase your self-esteem permanently

1. Self-awareness/Living consciously:

Be aware of all of your strengths, weakness, powers, and problems. Don’t live your life like a robot. Ask the following questions from yourself.

  • Why are you doing things that you do?
  • What are your biggest goals/desires?
  • What are your biggest fears/insecurities?
  • What do you love about yourself the most?
  • Which habits/behavior do you hate about yourself most?
  • What makes you happy?
  • What makes you angry?
  • What makes you sad/anxious?
  • What makes you proud?
  • What are your biggest values?

Being aware of yourself and your values thoroughly will help you make better decisions in life

Also, try to live in the present being aware of everything around you rather than remembering your past or worrying about your future.

2. Self-acceptance/ Self love:

Accept your strengths, weaknesses, desires, problems, powers without judgment. Change can happen only after acceptance. If you live your life in denial that you don’t have any weaknesses/ problems, you can’t overcome it.

Note: Self-acceptance shouldn’t be confused with complacency. The only way to become better is to accept yourself as you are now, otherwise, you’ll waste all of your time feeling guilty over your past mistakes.

3. Self-responsibility:

Be responsible for every area of your life. If you play victim and blame world for your current condition, you will never find inner energy/power to transform your life.

You might not have 100% control over life, but you definitely have 100% control over how you react to various events in life. Taking responsibility gives you the power to transform your thought process which in turn will change external reality for you.

Note: Being optimistic and solution-oriented rather than problem finder can be a game-changer for your thought process and life.

4. Be authentic:

To practice self-assertiveness is to live authentically, to speak and act from your innermost convictions and feelings.

Lies make you weak and full of fears. If you don’t know something, say it. If you aren’t good at something, tell it. There is no one in the world who is good at everything. You don’t need to be perfect to live life confidently, you just need to be authentic.

5. Living purposefully:

It means to use our powers for the attainment of goals we have selected. It’s our goals that push us forward and makes us feel fulfilled. Bigger the goal, greater the energy will be generated inside us to achieve that goal.

Note: Thinking big and having a purpose bigger than yourself will boost your self-esteem manyfold. Example: Entrepreneurs have higher self-esteem than people who do a regular job. Great leaders have high self-esteem as their purpose is much bigger than themselves: To uplift every single person in the world. You don’t necessarily need to have such bigger goals but you should definitely start thinking big and take bigger roles. Never be afraid of taking bigger roles in your organisation/social groups. Bigger roles will help you achieve respect from society as well as higher self-esteem in your own eyes. Similarly, You can take bigger roles in your social circles. Mentor someone, Be someone’s hero and this thing alone will give you unlimited confidence.

6. Personal integrity:

It means to live your life with values. It doesn’t mean necessarily to comply with rules or standards set by society but to live with your personal values. Don’t be a hypocrite. Don’t do things that you don’t like about others. Also, live your life with integrity. Give power to your words. Keep your promises even if it’s difficult to do.

7. Stay modest:

‘If you think you know everything, you can’t learn anything’.
Don’t let your successes make you an egoistic person. Stay modest and down to earth always. It will make you a confident peaceful person.
“Pride is not the opposite of shame, but its source. True humility is the only antidote to shame.”


Quick TIPS:

If you want to boost your self-esteem quickly, here are some tips/strategies to overcome low self esteem :

  1. Dress well: How you present yourself to society has an impact on your self-esteem. So, be well-groomed and dress well.
  2. Gym/ Physical exercise: Having an ideal body will help you increase your self-esteem. Also, the release of endorphins/dopamine during exercise will help you to become a more positive/optimistic person.
  3. Learn new things: Learning new skills will give you a sense of accomplishment and also make you an interesting and confident person. Move out of your comfort zone and try out new things. Divide the skill into as many parts or components as possible and master each one separately. Please read https://betheflow.in/learning-how-to-learn-faster for detailed steps to learn new skills quickly.
    Don’t be afraid of failures/rejections. It’s your failures that teach you the most and bring the best person out of you.
  4. Uplift others: Help others grow and live to the full potential. “When one teaches, two learn.” Helping others will make you feel fulfilled, happier and wiser. It will also help you make better relationships with people which will be really beneficial for you in the long term.
  5. Change your self-image: It’s a permanent and most effective solution. Change your subconscious using Affirmations/Visualizations. Become a person who thinks big, gives his personal best in each moment, who loves challenges, who is not afraid of failures, speaks his truth, is authentic, does no harm to others, speaks impeccable, spreads happiness and uplifts others.

Self-esteem is not built in a day. But if you continuously practice all these habits, you will definitely be unstoppable one day.

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Ten Magic Secrets To a Happy Life

Ten magic secrets to a happy life

Happiness matters. For yourself. The people around you. And the world as a whole.
It matters because it’s the key to better health, successful relationships, higher productivity, and a better world.

Perhaps there’s no such person in the world who wouldn’t like to be happy.
Everyone wants it, but very few remain happy throughout their life
Why is the failure rate so high in this regard?

The searching for happiness by acquiring materialistic things, power or high status may be the right approach. Here are the Ten Magic Secrets for a Happy Life.

10. Accept yourself

Be proud of yourself and forgive yourself for your past mistakes. Once you forgive yourself, it becomes easier to forgive others also. Lesser the grudges, happier you become.

9. Have great morning routine

  • Exercise makes you confident, healthier and reduces stress levels.
  • Meditation improves your mental health, focus and clarity .
  • Gratitude helps people feel more positive emotions, and build strong relationships.

8. Manage your expectations

Expect less from others, especially appreciation and compliments. Don’t live to impress others, live to impress yourself. Your outer world is reflection of your inner world. If you truly admire yourself, world will also start admiring you.

7. Have amazing relationships

80 years Harward study proved that great relationships make you healthier and happier. So, Love your family, friends and closed people around you. Avoid superficial relationships.

6. Be solution oriented

Have a solution oriented mindset. Instead of complaining about your problems, look for the solutions. You may learn from the people who were in similar problem and solved in successfully.

5. Think Big

SUCCESS is determined not so much by the size of one’s brain as it is by the size of one’s thinking. There is magic in thinking big.Think Big and you’ll live big. You’ll live big in happiness. You’ll live big in accomplishment. Big in income. Big in friends. Big in respect.

4. Be responsible and set Goals to Help You Grow

You can’t be happy if you are running away from your responsibilities. Set your own goals about your responsibilities and things that you truly want to achieve. Removes extra desires and goals coming from peer pressure. Follow your heart and do things that really matter to you.

3. Be flexible and adaptable

Don’t be too rigid on your goals and values. Always be ready to learn new things and adapt as per the situation. Also, avoid being perfectionist. It’s a waste of time and happiness.

2. Live in the moment

While it’s important to think big and pursue goals, it’s also important to enjoy the little things that life offers. Live in the moment and enjoy the little things around you.

1. Create happiness:

At the end of a day, happiness is a choice. You may cry over your little problems or you can become source of joy by solving others problems. Use your talents to give back to society.
Even if you can’t find a way to give back, you can always spread positivity by doing small things like smiling more often, giving compliments to others and laughing at yourself.

P.S. Life is too short to be sad.

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How To Learn Anything Quickly

how to learn anything anywhere

Whether it’s a new technology, a foreign language, or an advanced skill, staying competitive and efficient often means learning new things. Being a quick learner can give you an even greater edge. Before learning anything else, we need to understand how to learn.

Learning Stages:

1. Desire to Learn: The stronger the desire, the better the learning. Don’t work simply to complete something, doing so will never allow you to understand the concepts. Expand your desire to learn.
2. Observe: Observe successful people – their skills, abilities, and habits. If they can do something, so can you. You only need to clone their mindset and routines.
3. Find a Mentor:  It’s always better to find a mentor when trying to master a new skill.
Notes:

  1. Choose your mentors carefully. You want experts in the skills you are trying to master.
  2. Ask any number of questions you want. A famous Chinese proverb says, “He who asks a question is a fool for five minutes; he who does not ask a question remains a fool forever”. If you don’t understand, then ask. You may feel foolish at the moment, but you will learn the concept.

4. Break it Down: Divide the skill into as many parts or components as possible and master each one separately. For example, to master public speaking, some of the parts or components that need to be mastered are:

  • Body Language
    -Hand gestures
    -Eye contact
    -Walking style and speed
  • Presentation
    -Slide content
    -Design
    -Sequence and speed
  • Delivery
    -Tone and style
    -Speaking volume
    -Speed

5. Study/Learn: Learn the most important skill first. Use the Pareto Principle (80-20) to focus on that 20% part or sub-skill which will give maximum results (80%).

6. Implement/Practice: Theory is important, but practicality is more important. Thus, learning is incomplete without practice. It’s important that you solve the problem yourself. Practice each sub-skill separately and then practice the complete skill by combining all the parts and components.

7. Teach others: Help others understand the skill, for when you teach something, the concept becomes clearer in your head.

Challenges/roadblocks in learning:

  1. Procrastination: Learning something new thing or doing something you would rather not do can be stressful. This can initially cause some anxiety, which activates the area of the brain associated with pain. Your brain looks for a way to stop the pain by switching your attention to something more pleasant.
    Solution: The trick is just to get started. Researchers discovered that shortly after people started fixing what they didn’t like, their neuro discomfort disappeared. And just keep in mind that the better you get at something, the more enjoyable it can become.
  2. Lack of Resources: An absence of practice materials can cause you to become bored. You can’t learn anything when you are just listening, reading or watching.
  3. Skipped Step: After dividing the skill into its various parts or components, you may face difficulty in learning one or more of them. This can be attributed to skipping a previous concept or skill. If you become confused after reading a chapter, it’s possible it’s because you didn’t understand the previous chapter very well so go back and review your understanding of those previous chapters.
  4. Misunderstood Concept: If you read a chapter or a section on a particular concept and you are left feeling blank, it’s likely that you misunderstood a word or idea within that chapter. Therefore, you first need to go back and clarify the meaning of that word or idea before proceeding.
  5. Initial Failures: Most of us stop learning because we are subconsciously afraid of failing; however, persistence is the key. If you can persist despite your initial failures by learning from those failures and adapting your strategies, then no one can stop you.

Some more Learning tips:

  1. Turn off distractions: Refrain from using your phone and use the Pomodoro Technique, if possible.
  2. Mental Recall: Recall mentally without looking at the material after learning each skill. This has proven to be more effective than simply rereading the material. You should only reread when you want to audit for any information you may have missed.
  3. Spaced Repetition: Revisiting and practicing that which you have learned is important. Research shows that spaced repetition (i.e. continually repeating things after several days) is the best way to build and strengthen synaptic connections. Just don’t forget to rest between sessions.
  4. Interweaving: Combine the problems from different chapters. This is where you leave the worlds of practice and repetition and begin thinking more independently.
  5. Modes of thinking:   
    Focused mode: Concentrating on things that are usually familiar.
    Diffused mode: A relaxed mode of thinking “your thoughts are free to wander”. Useful for innovation.
  6. Learning enhancers: Exercise and social circles boost the learning process. Also, a good night’s sleep after understanding a complex concept is very helpful.
  7. Enjoy the learning process but put your ego on the line (compete and perform publicly)
  8. Stay true to your original style (example: happy, optimistic, aggressive)

If you want to learn more, we recommend the following books:
1. Learning how to learn
2. Art of learning